


The Merc with the Mouth and the Shortsighted Mayor

by Bl4ckHunter



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Arrow Season 6-7 fix, Crack Fic, Mocking the bad writing, Other, Reality check
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 11:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17918387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/pseuds/Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot crack fic. The notorious Merc with the Mouth talks some sense into Mayor Pollard because of her administration in Arrow Season 7





	The Merc with the Mouth and the Shortsighted Mayor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aragorn_II_Elessar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/gifts).



> Author's Note and Disclaimer:
> 
> A one-shot I did on request from changingdestiny40.
> 
> I do not own Marvel Comics, Deadpool, DC Comics or the CW TV shows Arrow, The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl or any other characters or elements pertaining to the mentioned franchises.

Mayor Emily Pollard was in her office in the City Hall before the secretary entered.

"Mayor Pollard, I'm sorry, I really tried to stop him but..."

"What's going on?" Pollard asked as into the office burst in a man in red and black spandex suit with black spots around his eyes, two katanas sheathed on his back and a belt on which he had two holstered guns, knives and grenades.

"What's going on is that someone needs to talk some sense into this anti-vigilante bullcrap." Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool said. "You say that vigilantes create chaos and that justice can be achieved only through law, making vigilantes outlaws with your Anti-Vigilante bill. What a load of shit."

Pollard glowered. "Vigilantes create nothing but chaos and..."

"Chaos?" Deadpool snorted and laughed. "Chaos was in Star City long before Ollie returned from the island, young lady. If you recall, the rich people were stepping on throats of poorer and weaker to better themselves at their expense. Adam Hunt, ripping people off their homes and life savings, and Edward Rasmus as well. James Holder, who put defective smoke detectors into low-income houses in the Glades, causing numerous deaths and people losing their homes. Justin Claybourne, who infected dozens of innocent people with weaponized tuberculosis to get profit from selling his cure at exorbitant price. And neither lawyers or the cops could stop them because they either had been bought by these one-percenters or were killed by hired guns." He reminded and Pollard winced before trying to argue.

"A federal case could have been..."

"And how many innocent people would have suffered and eventually died before that?" Deadpool argued and Pollard shut up once again. "The Hood did more effective job in a couple of months, than the cops or feds ever could do in years. How many criminals got away because of the corrupt law enforcement before the Hood took them all down?"

Pollard seethed. "Because of the Hood, we later got freaks inspired by him, such as the copycat archer, who killed..."

"No. The copycat archer was here long before the Hood and it was Malcolm Merlyn, who already had been the Dark Archer, the Magician, Al-Saher for years." Deadpool argued. "And he and few other richmen, alongside with some big-time criminals, were behind a lot of shady stuff in Starling City and that was long before the Hood showed up and the Dark Archer was the enforcer, who intimidated them into the Undertaking. I wouldn't blame that one on the Hood. The Hood copycats? Maybe. But the blonde lady? The Canary? She came here to protect her family and she and the Arrow, as he later called himself, later did more good than the cops ever could."

Pollard fumed with rage. "Because of them, an army of superhuman killing machines almost burned..."

"And they summoned a small group of ninjas to help too." Deadpool reminded. "And later, when the Arrow got framed by those ninjas for the killings, he decided to go into retirement and his best buddy Roy went into retirement. And few months later, an organization called HIVE that had the Ghosts with military training and equipment in their disposal, caused chaos in Star City, with the archer in green gone, the vigilantes and the cops were short-handed and when Ollie in new G.A. mantle showed up, he showed to be more efficient than the cops ever could be. Seriously, your naivite and grudge might be even worse than Quentin's in  **Season 1**. Did Oliver invite your daughter on the Gambit too?"

Pollard was steadying her breath, trying NOT to let Deadpool's mocking get to her, although "Season 1" was completely lost to her.

"And your anti-vigilante stance even after revealing how much Star City's law enforcement was corrupt because of Diaz's money from his drug dealing is really astonishing. Becacuse of that revelation of corruption, the city had already lost faith on the police. And really, you blaming the New Green Arrow for the fire in Glades Youth Center, even though it was not her fault and she even tried to rescue the innocent people there?" Deadpool mocked. "Seriously, how much lower can you stoop? You ever considered that vigilantes might do more good than the cops and the courts ever could? And have you stopped to consider, why people turn to vigilantism, especially after how it has been shown god-knows-how-many-times that the law enforcement in Star City is crooked? Looks like someone needs to rewatch  _ **Arrow**_  from the beginning."

Pollard tried to protest, although the last statement didn't make any sense to her. "Even if I wanted to cancel the Anti-Vigilante bill, I can't, since..."

"You're the mayor. How hard is it to call a referendum and argue how much good they have done and cancel the bill, especially considering how much did Diaz corrupt the city?" Deadpool argued and Pollard considered the suggestion. "And how can you ignore the suffering in the Glades?"

"The people in the Glades can take care of themselves..."

"Yeah, say that, when the gang lord calling himself "The Mayor" spread the gun epidemic in the Glades or when Brick took over the Glades, taking the aldermen out of the equation." Deadpool scoffed and Pollard shut up and blushed, acknowledging he had a point. "The Arrow, the Canary and other vigilantes needed to help the people in the Glades because the cops are too ignorant cowards to help them and you even tried to arrest the vigilantes when they tried to help the people of the Glades after how much it had gone to crap.

Seriously, you need to stop and consider how much good vigilantes actually do, instead of condemning them as outlaws. And trying to blame the New G.A. for the Glades Youth Center is really pathetic from your side.

No wonder the Glades and the whole city turn into reversed sort of crap in thirty years. I think I should beat some sense into Guggenheim, Mericle and Schwartz for their shitty writing." Deadpool finished and left, leaving Pollard puzzled at what the hell just happened and who were Guggenheim, Mericle and Schwartz Deadpool was talking about.

**Author's Note:**

> Probably not my best job and I honestly had no idea how to make it hilarious. If you want to see this one-shot continued, look up Aragorn II Elessar's sequel to my one-shot, called "The Merc with a Mouth cleanses Star City's corruption", who did this on request and I gave him permission after episode 7x15 "Training Day" of Arrow.
> 
> Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.
> 
> With regards
> 
> Bl4ckHunter


End file.
